Don't miss: THESUCKLIFE 
Combat zone, combat pay, no CAR.
I always feel weird when asked about being a combat Marine.
Personally, no, I never saw direct enemy action, I came very close once, and I was able to violate my orders and use our NATO vehicle to medevac a seven-year-old kid who was hit with an AK47 round just minutes before we arrived on scene.
Not sure if it exists anywhere, but knowing how efficient the Austrians were/are, I bet you could find the after-action report if you dug enough. This would have been around July 1999, as part of Operation Allied Harbour, where I was a J2X Sergeant. Good luck finding the NATO report, because you won’t.
Ironically, the action happened due to the Austrian camp’s efficiency. They were stricter than any other refugee camp in Albania, and the local mafia was unable to infiltrate them like they easily did at all the other camps in country. Thus, they launched a small salvo of rounds into the camp as a message to the Austrians.
I am a pogue, I make no bones about it. But, at the time of the Kosovo War, my boat space was closed to move to Sergeant. And I had been a Corporal for a while, and I always wanted to be James Bond, so when the NATO assignment for Intel opened up, I jumped at the chance to do actual HUMINT work looking to potentially lat-move. As luck would have it, right after I got to Albania, my 0151 space opened up and I was promoted to Sgt, by an Admiral, no less.
But enough about all that, you want to hear about how UBL directly threatened my narrow ass.
When we first got to Albania, there was no R&R, at all. Seven days a week, nonstop, collecting Intel and actually setting up the entire office. I literally had a table (notice I didn’t say desk) and a chair and a phone and some poster boards and pens, and we shared a freakin’ laptop and a digital camera (which was a brand-new tech back in 1999). By the time I left, we had a functional J2 with quite a robust amount of intelligence.
Anyway, my Commanding Officer, a really cool Army Colonel who looked a bit like Magnum P.I., worked out a deal with a local Turkish beach resort, that we could use it for one day of R&R. Mind you, they weren’t sure if it was safe – – – send the Marines.
Yeah, at the time, there were only two Marines in the NATO command at AFOR, me and a buddy of mine, SSgt (let’s call him Buffalo). The command used us as guinea pigs for the resort; we could go there with our gear and enjoy the beach. Being from Fort Lauderdale, I can’t tell you how amazing that was for me. Even if I was stationed in Norway before the AFOR assignment. Needed to get some sun!
Well, it was a success, there were no incidents, and the R&R program was allowed to continue on a round-robin, one day a week, basis.
This part may be classified, so I will keep it vague. A CIA liaison came into my office a few days later and showed me a document with words from UBL that included “audacity” and “two sunbathing Marines” and made it clear we were now being targeted by UBL. Remember, this is 1999, folks. He had already attacked two US bases, at this point, but 9/11 hadn’t happened yet.
Anyway, being who I am, I decided to keep going to the beach, and so be it, if UBL wanted to attack, my buddy and I were ready. I was a wannabe James Bond, and he was just a crazy fucker from Buffalo.
Obviously, I am here now telling this story, so we made it, and you didn’t see any shit on CNN about us being attacked, etc.
So, that’s my story, and I am sticking to it, give or take a lie or two.
Semper Fi!
Sgt “Swift” 3046M 05/14/1993
