When my Momma sent me off to the Vietnam camp-o-ree with a few other MAG-36 folks during the last century, she told me to make sure I carried enough underwear to last me for awhile. She didn’t really define “awhile”. Momma’s are like that sometimes. Little did I know the order writing section of HQMC could be that way also. Although I don’t recall anyone at HQMC being concerned about the amount of skivvies I had.
Listen, I never served a tour in the sandbox, any of them. So, I can’t imagine what those that did serve there were told by their Mommas to bring with them. But, I did hear a rumor once they needed to bring a bunch of 7.62 rounds in their sea bags. Not sure if their Momma told them that or not.
One of the things I wasn’t told to bring a lot of was just recently brought back to what’s left of my mind, i.e. shirts, skivvie shirts that is. You see, I once needed to drive from the land of perpetual sunshine and beautiful people (Southern California) to Atlanta, the home of high humidity. We had humidity in Vietnam. Just not this damn much. Seems as you are driving through the individual states humidity just sort of creeps up on you. By the time you’ve gone through New Mexico and the Texas panhandle, it was time to change my shirt. Just enough humidity to be slightly moist.
Oklahoma and Arkansas caused me to wonder if I needed to stop at one of those tourist stops to pick up another shirt or two. You know the ones that say “I’D RATHER BE DRINKING JACK THAN DRIVING DOWN THIS HERE ROAD” Then, the highway took me through Miz-sippi, down Tupelo way and I knew I was in trouble. I don’t care how many skivvie drawers you carry with you, they don’t seem to be able to stop the flow of ungentlemanly sweat. A point of fact at this time. Did you know sweat draws mosquito’s? That’s a fact Jack. My arms prove it.
In Nam it wasn’t so much that I needed more skivvie shirts during the monsoons. I mean when you’re soaked there isn’t any need to change into another one because you’re just going to get that one soaked in a nanosecond. But, humidity isn’t like monsoon rains. Those rains just slam into you like Mike Trout stealing second base. Whereas humidity sort of crawls down your neck until it reaches our socks. The next thing you know your shirt sort of slides off you. It’s at this this point you know you aren’t going to have enough skivvie shirts to last until you reach Atlanta.
By the time I reached Hotlanta I had spent $136.48 in quarters in dryers along the way to keep from having to go to cash sales for more skivvie shirts. But, now that I’m here I don’t plan to go outside. Well, every once in awhile I do need to take man’s best friend outside to water the trees. But only long enough to keep one tree healthy.
Fast Eddie is the best!He was kind enough to give us his pearls of wisdom monthly n the newsletter!