Seems I Can Never Get Clean

Listen, I take Saturday showers like most of you; even use soap and water when I do. It’s something my parents taught me to do when I started dating. When they found out I had asked a girl out, they asked my parole officer to take me by the hand to Wally-Mart. He pointed out all sorts of foo-foo spray I could use on my body, even those parts water didn’t touch.

I’d like to say that date worked out well for me. Just as I’d like to say the next six did also. Didn’t! Not sure why. I used that spray just as the instructions on the can directed. It’s just that nowhere did it mention not to use the whole can. I thought if a little is good, a whole lot would be mo betta. But, that’s enough about my teenage hygiene habits and lack of dates.

One of many things my D.I. taught me when I went to Parris Island was the Marine Corps established bases near large bodies of water. That’s why MCRD was located near the Pacific. Even the Fourth Marine Air Wing and its minor part, the 4th Division, were located next to what wasn’t washed away by Katrina. Now, that wasn’t done by accident these bases were located where they were. I think it might have had something to do with either amphibious warfare or falling soap company stocks needing to be propped up. You have to decide for yourself.

Regardless, when my Air Group deployed to Vietnam the first thing done during the site selection process was “water”. Turns out a large body of water Marines could bath in called the South China Sea. I never did learn if there was an East China Sea or even a West Chine Sea or,,,, you get the point. We’d take our little C-ration soap bars down to the Sea and bath. Only, bathing in salt water, even with Dove soap, just didn’t quite do the trick. Although, when the bugle sounded BATHING CALL, we’d march down there and do it, salt and all.

Now, let’s skip to the future. Is there anyone out there that has taken a map reading course? If so, can you name the large body of water located next to Afghanistan? Anyone? Are you wondering if someone back at headquarters deployed Marines to the wrong country? How were they to bath when they got there? Use sand? Could that be the original purpose, other than holystoning wooden ship decks, with sandstone and Hai-Karate?

Well, I guess we’ll never know the answer to that one. But if you do find it, send the answer to the Commandant. I’m sure he has wondered about this also.