50 Unwritten Rules Every Marine Lives By: The Complete Guide to Surviving The Suck
Look, we all know the Marine Corps has enough written rules to fill a daily police call from here to Twentynine Palms. But it’s the unwritten ones, passed down through generations of salty dogs and motivated devils, that really keep the Corps running smoother than your boot camp dome piece. Whether you’re a fresh boot dropping your first “kill” or a seasoned devil dog with more hash marks than fingers, these are the 50 social rules that separate the motivated from the voluntold.
The Basics of Not Getting Your Ass Chewed
1. Never walk past a Marine in need without helping. Seriously, don’t be that blue falcon.
2. The junior Marine always carries the heavy load. Consider it some bonus IPT time.
3. If you’re on time, you’re late, arrive at least 15 minutes early. And if you’re 15 minutes early, the Senior Lance still thinks you’re late.
4. Always greet senior Marines first, no matter the setting. Yes, even at the PX when you’re trying to E&E past them with your cart full of Rip Its and tornado pockets.
5. Chow is continuous, but junior Marines eat last. Remember: hunger is temporary, but getting blasted by the Company Guns is forever.
6. Always offer a firm handshake and direct eye contact.
7. Never call a Staff NCO or officer by their first name. Not even if you’re Facebook friends now or both ended up as Range Control POGs.
8. If a Marine needs a haircut, tell them before their leadership does.
9. Uniforms are always squared away, no exceptions. Looking like a bag of smashed MREs isn’t the way to go.
10. Never let your boot walk alone in a bad situation. Whether it’s facing the First Sergeant or navigating the E-Club on a Friday night.
The Daily Grind
11. If you’re not busy, find something to clean. Because if you have time to lean, you have time to field day… again.
12. Always have a pen and notepad, leaders hate repeating themselves. Writing on your hand isn’t a good look at the CO’s brief.
13. The senior Marine picks the music on the convoy. Sorry, but your Justin Bieber playlist will have to wait until you pick up Staff.
14. Never take the last piece of pizza in the barracks without offering. This is a crime punishable by endless IT sessions.
15. No Marine drinks alone if others are around. It’s not alcoholism, it’s forced unit cohesion.
16. If someone yells “OOD on deck,” fix yourself immediately. It’s like a real-life game of freeze tag, but with more paperwork.
17. Never outshine your superior until it’s time to make them look good. Timing is everything, boot.
18. Don’t be the one who forgets the barracks duty roster. That’s a special kind of famous you don’t want to be at the First Sergeant’s office.
19. Civilians don’t get Marine Corps inside jokes, so don’t expect them to laugh. Save the Wagner loves references for the smoke pit.
20. If a Marine gets in trouble, don’t leave them to face it alone. Unless they got caught by PMO doing something monumentally stupid, then you never met them.
The Office Space Rules
21. Never sit in a higher-ranking Marine’s chair unless invited. That leather chair might as well be the Commandant’s.
22. Officers walk on the left, enlisted on the right, always. It’s like traffic laws, but with more knife hands.
23. If you’re the last to leave the shop, turn off the lights. The Marine Corps already owns your soul, they don’t need your electricity bill too.
24. No Marine should be left behind at a bar, party, or anywhere questionable. The buddy system saves lives and prevents Article 15s.
25. Always return borrowed gear in better condition than you got it. CIF karma is real.
Field Rules
26. Never let your fire team leader look bad. They remember that stuff when it’s time for working parties and police calls.
27. If Doc tells you to drink water, don’t argue. They’re like your mom, but with more IV bags and foot powder.
28. Never run inside the CP unless it’s an emergency or the SgtMaj is inbound. And sometimes, SgtMaj IS the emergency.
29. Avoid asking dumb questions during the op order, everyone will suffer. The LT’s frag-o is bad enough without your help.
30. Don’t stand around with your hands in your pockets, it’s a sign of weakness. Plus, those pockets aren’t real anyway, boot.
The Professional Stuff
31. Never complain in front of someone who outranks you. Save it for the smoke pit like a proper lance criminal.
32. Always have a squared-away cover before stepping outside. Your dome isn’t naturally camouflaged.
33. Keep your boots clean, even if you don’t expect an inspection. Because that’s exactly when the Company Gunny will materialize.
34. If you see a Marine moving furniture, you help, no questions asked. Even if it’s their third time rearranging their wall locker that week.
35. The phrase “Good to go” solves 99% of conversations. The other 1% can be solved with “Rah” or “Yut.”
The Really Important Stuff
36. If you lose your weapon or gear, it’s your worst nightmare. Some say that Marine is still doing mountain climbers to this day.
37. The first rule of the field: Never be the last one in the chow line. MRE roulette is not a game you want to play with the veggie omelet.
38. Always make room in the MRAP for one more Marine. It’s like a clown car, but with more flak and kevlar.
39. A Marine’s word is their bond, don’t break it. Trust is harder to replace than a lost CAC card at IPAC.
40. No matter how bad it sucks, never let the Army or Navy see you complain. Save the tears for your DD-214 blanket.
The Brotherhood Rules
41. If someone gets promoted, be the first to congratulate them. Then immediately ask them when they’re buying at the E-Club.
42. Never let a junior Marine walk around lost, lead them. Even if you’re also lost, fake it till you make SNCO.
43. Never question the mystery meat in the chow hall, just eat it. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (or at least that’s what BAS keeps saying).
44. Never walk past an unattended cover, it belongs to someone climbing the sugar cookie again.
45. Never be the first to break bearing during a command inspection. Your poker face is your best friend.
46. When a Marine needs motivation, you step up and provide it. Sometimes that motivation comes in the form of creative IT sessions.
47. If another Marine fails, help them fix it before leadership finds out. Because we all know a page 11 entry is forever.
48. If a Marine needs a ride, you don’t ask why, you just help. Questions are for the SITREP later.
49. Always back up another Marine in a fight, no matter what. Sort out the details during the mandatory safety brief later.
50. Once a Marine, always a Marine, act like it, even after EAS. But maybe cool it with the “back in my Corps” stories at the family BBQ.
These unwritten rules aren’t just about avoiding a smoking or maintaining good order and discipline, they’re about building and maintaining the brotherhood (and sisterhood) that makes the Corps what it is. They’re passed down from salt dogs to boots, usually through a combination of knife hands, quarter deck sessions, and the occasional death by PowerPoint that nobody asked for.
Remember, while some of these rules might seem silly or unnecessary to civilians and other branches (looking at you, Chair Force), they’re part of what makes our culture unique. They’re what transforms a group of individuals into a family, a slightly dysfunctional, occasionally chaotic, but always faithful family.
So whether you’re fresh from the yellow footprints or a crusty old SNCO on your way to retirement, remember these rules. They might just save your career, your dignity, or at least keep you from getting NJP’d.
Semper Fi, and don’t forget to hydrate. Doc said so, and nobody wants to get on Doc’s bad side.
