MEMORIAL DAY 2025

by Capt. Ben Cascio, USMC Ret.

Another Memorial Day is upon us. Not that it’s that big a deal to many Americans, who don’t seem to understand what this holiday is all about. But for those who take the time to care, for those who knew or were close to those who served, & especially for veterans and their families, it is not a day of mourning, but a day of reflection, a time to remember & to honor fallen comrades.

The American tradition of Memorial Day began more than 100 years ago. It was at the end of a brutal war, a war in which brother fought brother and the best of friends became the worst of enemies. It was the Civil War, one of the worst wars ever fought by the people of this nation, and it was fought on our own soil. At the end of this war, family members of the many soldiers slain in battle would visit the grave sites of their fallen relatives or friends and decorate their graves with flowers.

“Decoration Day,” as it was first called, was proclaimed a holiday, and first observed on May 30, 1868. In 1882, the name Decoration Day was changed to Memorial Day, and in 1971, Memorial Day was declared a national holiday to be held on the last Monday of May each year.

In years past, & even today, all over America people are gathering to remember & honor those who served our country & paid the ultimate price for freedom. You will hear the words of VIP’s, political officials & other veterans talking about what the men & women of our country have done for us & why they should be remembered; but for me there is even more significance to this day. This is what I would like to share with you, just so you can understand another perspective of Memorial Day from a combat veteran’s point of view.

As the years pass, Memorial Day has taken on an even more special meaning for me. Old pals, who back in their young and foolish days were brave mud Marines, pilots & crew, are checking out faster than I care to count. Veterans of World War II and Korea are hearing “Taps” played at funerals at the rate of almost 2,000 a day, and now the Vietnam vets are joining the procession to meet those who have preceded them. Almost every month now I get the word that another brother’s gone. Sometimes it’s a phone call, a letter, e-mail, text or an obituary I’ve been sent about a friend I fought alongside years ago.

Every death notice, brings pain. Some bring tears. All bring reflection that dials up the face of a brother I grew to love a long time ago. A love born from terrible strife where we had the searing privilege of getting to know each other as few men ever do; a bond of Brotherhood that can only be forged in the furnace of battle, & shaped on the anvil of honor, pride & tradition. Back then, we were very proud & thought ourselves to be invincible, but we also thought we were damned to be the chosen few. But now, so many years later, we know the truth: It was the most defining and most challenging period of our lives.

Memorial Day is supposed to be the day a grateful nation pauses to quietly thank the more than one million men and women who have died in military service to their country since the Revolutionary War.

But for most, who do not have a direct link to Memorial Day, it is the day the beach resorts kick into high gear for the summer season; the day the sand is covered by “fish-belly-white” people basting themselves in sun tan oil; the day the off-season rates end and the weekend you can’t get in a seaside restaurant with anything less than a one hour wait.

Does this pursuit of pleasure dishonor Memorial Day? I think not. I believe the men and women who died for us would understand; & they would smile with what we do with their day. I know they would, because they gave their lives so that we could enjoy ours. What I don’t think they would understand, & what does dishonor their sacrifice, is what we have allowed to develop out of the very freedoms they died to protect.

The conflicting messages we place upon our children, in attempting to instill a semblance of honor, integrity & pride for God, Country & family, on the one hand, has been allowed to be undermined in the name of expediency, mediocrity & political correctness.

How could you possibly explain to our deceased veterans, as well as our children, that in the guise of the very Constitutional Rights that they died to preserve, that our children no longer pray, or salute the flag in school? I don’t think they would understand or approve, because I don’t. I challenge you today, to go home & sit down with your children, & explain this dichotomy to them: How come every public gathering or assembly, such as today, always starts with a prayer & flag salute; yet our children do not pray or salute our flag in school? I challenge you to explain that to them; & then I would like you to explain it to me – because I don’t understand it; as I believe those who have died to protect that very freedom, would not understand what we have allowed to happen in the name of political correctness. (Talk about an oxymoron – political correctness).

This flag of ours is the symbol of all that is good about this country. America is an idea. It is an idea lived, and fought for, by a people. We are America, and this is our symbol. We are imperfect in many ways, but we continue to strive toward the ideal our forefathers laid down for us 250 years ago this year. I could never imagine desecrating that symbol. Perhaps there are many people in this nation who have never been abroad, or in harms way, and seen the flag upon their return. Those poor unfortunate souls can never know the deep pride and honor one feels to see it wave, to know that there is still a good ol’ USA, where everyone is allowed to live their lives in freedom. With all our faults we are still the greatest nation on earth, and the flag is the most powerful symbol of that greatness.

When I was in grade school, we used to say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning. It is something I never forgot. I wonder how many children even know that pledge today, with or without “one nation under God” ripped from its womb. This flag is our history, our dreams, our accomplishments, indelibly expressed in bright red, white, and blue.

This flag was carried in our Revolutionary War, although it had fewer stars. But it persevered and evolved throughout a war we had no right to believe we could win. But we did, and built a country around it. This flag, tattered and battle worn, waved proudly from the mast, as John Paul Jones showed the enemy what true resolve was. This banner was raised by the hands of brave men on a godforsaken island called Iwo Jima, and became a part of the most famous photo of the 20th Century. Those men are all dead now, but their legacy lives on in the Marine Memorial in Washington, DC. Those of you who have seen it will recall that inscribed within the stone monument are the words- “Uncommon Valor Was A Common Virtue”- – – I don’t believe you’ll see the words, “it was expedient,” anywhere on it.

Our future and the future of coming generations are in our hands now. Wars are not won just on military fronts, but by the resolve of the people. We must remain tenaciously strong in the pursuit of all enemies that threaten free people everywhere. I am encouraged that we won the most recent conflict, which had been festering for years, & brutally brought home on 9/11. Even as the second Tower fell, there were brave Americans on Flight 93, fighting back. They were strangers, without military training, but they bravely fought back as Americans, in the best & only way they knew how. These people were the first true heroes of this conflict, and gave their lives to save their fellow countrymen. This nation, this melting pot of humanity, this free republic, must be preserved. This idea that is America is important enough to be defended. Fought for. Even die for. The enemies of our nation fear what we have, for if their people ever become liberated into a free society, tyrannical dictatorships will cease to exist. How can they ever understand this country of ours, so self-indulgent and diverse, yet when attacked, so united in the defense of its principles & ideals?

This is the greatest country in the world because brave people sacrificed to make it that way.

We are a collective mix of greatness and greed, hi-tech and heartland. We are the country of Mickey Mouse and Mickey Mantle; from John Smith and Pocahontas to John Glen and an Atlas booster; from Charles Lindbergh to Charley Brown; from Moby Dick to Microsoft; we are a nation that went from Kitty Hawk to Tranquility Base in less than 70 years; we are rock and roll, and the Bill of Rights; we are where everyone else wants to be, the greatest nation in the world. The enemies of our nation do not & cannot understand the dichotomy of our society.

The people who we remember today had the courage to put their life on the line for what they believed in. We must have the courage to honor their sacrifices by standing up for what’s right, & what they died for, and not living in fear of being criticized as being insensitive to the current misguided trends of political correctness.

But today is about Memorial Day & those who we honor today. I had the privilege to know & to have served with some of those great men who died in the service of our country. We lost 33 of them in my squadron alone, most in their late teens & early twenties. (I was the “Old Man” at 27). And the guys I knew would have understood what we do on this day.

They, like the rest of us, liked a sunny beach and a cold beer – and a hot babe in a black bikini, too. They would have enjoyed packing the kids, the inflatable rafts, the coolers, and the suntan lotion in the car and heading for the beach in their SUV’s, rooting for the Mets or Yankees. They would have enjoyed staying at home and cutting the grass, and getting together with some friends and cooking some steaks on the grill, too. They would have enjoyed watching this ceremony/parade.

But they didn’t get the chance. They died in Iraq, Afghanistan & Somalia. They were blown up in the Marine Barracks in Beirut and died in the oily waters of the Persian Gulf. They caught theirs at the airstrip in Grenada, in the little war everyone laughed at. They bought the farm on the Rock Pile and on Heartbreak Ridge, Khe Sanh and Hue. They froze at the Chosin Reservoir and were shot at the Pusan Perimeter. They drowned in the surf at Omaha Beach or fell in the fetid jungles of Guadalcanal. They were at the Somme and at San Juan Hill and at Gettysburg and at Cerro Gordo and at Valley Forge.

They couldn’t be here with us this weekend, but I think they would understand that we don’t spend the day in tears and heart-wrenching memorials. They wouldn’t want that. Grief is not what they died for. They died so we could go fishing. They died so another father could hold his laughing little girl over the waves, or toss a baseball to his son in their backyard while the charcoal is getting white. They died so another buddy could drink a beer on his day off. They died so another family could get in their SUV and go shopping and maybe get some ice cream on the way home.

They won’t mind that we have chosen their day to have our first big outdoor party of the year. But they wouldn’t mind, either, if we took just a second and thought about them.

Some will think of them formally, of course. Wreaths will be laid in small, sparsely attended ceremonies in military cemeteries and at monuments at state capitols and in small town squares. Flags will fly over their graves, patriotic words will be spoken and a few people there will probably feel a little anger that no more people showed up. They’ll think no one else remembers.

But we do remember. I remember Bob and Sandy and Doc and Larry and Dick and Chris, and all the other guys who died. I remember the deal we made between us: If I buy it, we said: “Drink a beer for me.” It was OUR way of remembering and honoring each other.

Well, I will do it for you, guys. I’ll drink that beer for you today, and I’ll sit on that beach for you, and I’ll tell everyone who will listen, who you were, what you did and how well you did it. I’ll think of you, and all you could have become & what you’ve missed; but I won’t let your memory spoil the trip, because you’ll be on that sunny beach with me today. I will not mourn your deaths this Memorial Day, my friends. Rather, I’ll celebrate the life you gave me. I have been indeed Blessed to have walked amongst true heroes & flown with Eagles. I have walked in their shadows & they continue to carry me along on their wings. Each of them was, is & ever shall be an integral part of my life.

I believe, as Yeats so eloquently wrote:

Think where man’s glory
Most begins & ends
And say my glory was
I had such friends

So, my message to you today, is not to mourn their deaths, they would not have wanted that, but to celebrate their lives, & the life they have given us. This is a wonderful country because of the sacrifices they have made for us. We do them honor by remembering that.

For those who died are not buried in the ground, but in our very being; As long as we live, they live in us.

We do them honor by not allowing what they have died for to be denigrated in the name of expediency; & we do them honor by just …. merely remembering them, passing on their memory to our children, & saying a quiet “Thank you.”

God Bless our Veterans & God Bless America.

Respectfully,
Capt. Ben R. Cascio, USMC Retired