You’ve heard it. I’ve heard it. Every Marine has heard it. “Marines eat crayons.” It’s the go-to joke for anyone looking to poke fun at the Corps, as if we’re all sitting around the barracks gnawing on a 64-pack of Crayolas between field exercises. But here’s the thing: we don’t get mad. We don’t whine. We don’t launch a PR campaign to set the record straight.
We do what Marines do best. We own it.
Marines have an uncanny ability to take an insult and turn it into a flex. Call us crayon-eaters? Fine. We’ll debate which colors pair best with an IPA. Red is bold, a little spicy, really brings out the hops. Green tastes like regret. Yellow? Total boot move.
The origins of the joke are murky, but by the mid-2010s, military meme pages, Facebook pranks, and Terminal Lance sent it into overdrive. By 2018, even the Marine Corps got in on it, posting a National Crayon Day video featuring an MRE filled with crayons. The joke has since become tradition; Marines have been served crayons at graduations and Marine Corps balls. Instead of fighting it, we made it our own, proving once again that you can’t break a Marine’s spirit.
Civilians don’t get it. Marines don’t just endure misery, we laugh at it, make it worse for ourselves, and march on. The crayon joke? No different. Other branches might get defensive about stereotypes. We double down. That’s what sets Marines apart. The same mindset that lets us turn an insult into a punchline is the same mindset that makes us unstoppable in the fight.
At the end of the day, the joke doesn’t change the reality. When things go south, who do they call? Who’s first in, last out? Who thrives in the worst conditions imaginable and gets the job done no matter what? You don’t have to like us, but you damn sure respect us.
We eat crayons because we can. We eat crayons because we win. Hell, we eat crayons because they’re probably better than C-RATS and those mystery-meat MREs that have haunted the Corps for decades.
So keep the jokes coming. Marines will keep laughing, right before crushing the mission, outlasting the odds, and proving once again why the world calls us when things go sideways.
Semper Fi. Pass the red one.
