Marines aren’t just a breed apart, we’re practically our own species, forged by chaos, fueled by grit, and bound by a brotherhood that makes the rest of the world wonder if we’re crazy, invincible, or both. But no matter what anyone else thinks, if you’ve ever worn the eagle, globe, and anchor, you know there’s no experience quite like it. Whether you’ve just graduated from boot camp or you’ve been in the Corps for decades, the things we go through shape us in ways civilians can’t understand. So, here’s a mix of humor, a little sarcasm, and a few serious truths about what it really means to be a Marine, because let’s be honest, we don’t take ourselves too seriously, but we take the title seriously as hell.
Here’s how you know you’ve truly earned the title of United States Marine:
You might be a Marine if you know that, whether you’re male or female, the title of Marine is earned through sweat, sacrifice, and an unyielding commitment to the mission and your brothers and sisters in arms.
You might be a Marine if your breakfast of champions is a pack of crayons. Red tastes the best, fight me.
You might be a Marine if you know that “Retreat, Hell!” isn’t just a motivational phrase, but a middle finger to the enemy courtesy of Captain Lloyd Williams at Belleau Wood.
You might be a Marine if you believe the Gunny doesn’t sleep, they just wait for someone to screw up so they can appear out of nowhere.
You might be a Marine if you think the proper response to “The enemy is in front of us, behind us, to our left and right” is “Good, they can’t get away this time” – and you know Chesty Puller wasn’t joking.
You might be a Marine if you know that nothing tastes quite as bad, or as comforting, as a stale C-rat ham and lima beans eaten under a poncho in the pouring rain.
You might be a Marine if your idea of a romantic date involves explaining how John Basilone earned his Medal of Honor at Guadalcanal while drawing the battle tactics on the fancy cloth napkins.
You might be a Marine if you’ve ever said “It could be worse – at least we’re not at Frozen Chosin” while freezing your ass off somewhere.
You might be a Marine if you know that “Every Marine a rifleman” isn’t just a saying – it’s why POGs still somehow end up in firefights and handle it like champions.
You might be a Marine if you carry yourself with quiet confidence, knowing you’ve been trained to lead and stand firm, no matter the challenge or environment.
You might be a Marine if you think sleeping on bare concrete is “pretty comfortable actually” but complain that the 5-star hotel mattress is too soft.
You might be a Marine if you think doing a PFT in 29 Palms in August is “character building.”
You might be a Marine if you think having a high and tight isn’t just a haircut, it’s a way of life.
You might be a Marine if you’ve ever gotten excited about a new pack of boot socks. That’s right, BOOT SOCKS. What has the Corps done to us?
You might be a Marine if you think the appropriate volume for any conversation is somewhere between “drill instructor” and “artillery fire.”
You might be a Marine if you’ve used “kill” as a noun, verb, adjective, and terms of endearment – all in the same sentence.
You might be a Marine if you say “Good to go!” to everything, including things you definitely don’t understand yet.
You might be a Marine if you’ve ever used the word “behoove” in casual conversation and didn’t even flinch.
You might be a Marine if you’ve ever responded to “How are you?” with “Outstanding!” while being completely miserable.
You might be a Marine if you can close your eyes and hear the sound of a Huey’s rotors beating the air or the distant thump of outgoing artillery.
You might be a Marine if you’ve ever referred to your weekend plans as “tactical acquisition of alcohol” in a brief to your commanding officer.
You might be a Marine if you’ve ever used your dress blues to get a free meal and felt zero shame about it. Actually, you felt pretty motivated about it.
You might be a Marine if you think MRE jalapeno cheese spread is better than any five-star restaurant sauce, and you’ll fight anyone who disagrees.
You might be a Marine if you know that “mandatory fun” isn’t an oxymoron – it’s what happens when the CO decides the entire company needs to bond through “voluntary” field day competitions.
You might be a Marine if you’ve ever used the phrase “back in the Old Corps” while talking about something that happened last year.
You might be a Marine if you think Chesty Puller stories are appropriate bedtime reading for your toddler.
You might be a Marine if you’ve ever used Marine Corps hand signals while coaching youth sports.
You might be a Marine if you’ve ever given an operational risk assessment before letting your kids go to the playground.
You might be a Marine if you still instinctively come to parade rest when talking to anyone older than you, including your in-laws.
You might be a Marine if you think Motrin is a food group and can cure everything from a bullet wound to a broken heart.
You might be a Marine if you feel an unshakable pride in being part of something bigger than yourself, standing as a guardian of tradition and as a brother or sister to every Marine, past and present.
You might be a Marine if you still remember the names of the men you served with and carry their memory as a badge of honor.
You might be a Marine if you’re a Navy Corpsman – because you’re just as tough as the Marines, but with a much better bedside manner.
And finally, you might be a Marine if reading this made you laugh while simultaneously muttering “yut,” “rah,” or “kill” under your breath.
Remember: We didn’t get the reputation as America’s pit bulls by being normal. From the Halls of Montezuma to whatever sandbox we’re currently turning into a party, Marines have been making the impossible look easy and making our enemies regret their life choices since before your grandfather’s grandfather was born.
Semper Fi, you magnificent bastards!
By Cpl. Beddoe, thesucklife.com
Author’s Note:
No crayons were harmed in the writing of this blog post. They were all properly consumed by hungry Marines.
Outstanding, Wally! Oooorrrraaaahhhh!